normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
