There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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