What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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