My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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