the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
