Kiss
Puke
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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