My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
