Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need to calm my uterus...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
