This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize