She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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