I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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