apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
whose parrot is this?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
