That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
