You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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