This is not my ceiling
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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