I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
