physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
