You made me cry and you don't even care
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
