Yo dont text me then not text me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
