Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
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What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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