I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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