it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
