Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching