She said her name was "party"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.