HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.