i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
