There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.