Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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