There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
