better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
