your parents love me but you hate me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
