she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
