I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
