Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
