Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
