Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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