Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
