this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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