Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
