Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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