I feel like abortions should bother me more
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
