So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
