White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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