I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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