That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
