And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
