angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
