I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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