i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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