to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm having to shit out rocks
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
