Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
