I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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