dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize