That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
