Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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