oh god the rape fog is back!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
