goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
