I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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