you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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