Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
