It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
