beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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