yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize